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A mother is receiving support from fellow Reddit users after she decided to kick her niece out of her house.
Shared by u/throwaway2948928, the post, which was published on November 2 on the “Am I the A******” forum, garnered more than 7,000 interactions.
In her post, u/throwaway2948928 said that her 17-year-old daughter “Amelia” lives with her, along with Amelia’s 1-year-old grandson “Owen” and the child’s 17-year-old father “Raymond.”
She also allowed her 19-year-old niece “Stephanie” to live with her but noticed the unkind way Stephanie treated Amelia.
Although u/throwaway2948928 spoke to Stephanie about how she was treating Amelia, the issues continued, leading her to kick Stephanie out of her house. u/throwaway2948928 has since faced backlash from other family members.
Insight From An Expert
Kevin Mimms, LMFT, told Newsweek that u/throwaway2948928 did the right thing by speaking with Stephanie.
“If she added anything, it would be to clearly specify the reasons for the request—expectations of respect and kindness—and the consequences—you can’t live here if you don’t meet these expectations,” he said.
Mimms added that if the family reaches a point where u/throwaway2948928 wishes to smooth things over with the others, she must remember why Stephanie was kicked out, to begin with—to protect her daughter.
“If she wants to smooth it over, maybe saying something about how she is still an important member of her family, and she loves her,” he said.
If Stephanie pushes back, u/throwaway2948928 should maintain that boundary of asking for kindness toward her daughter and family.
“At this point, the onus of the reconciliation rests with the niece,” Mimms said. “Humility and contrition lead to forgiveness, while hardening prevents it.”
In her post, u/throwaway2948928 said that her sister asked if it was possible for Stephanie to move in with her. Because it is difficult to find a place to live, u/throwaway2948928 agreed.
“I immediately noticed that Stephanie was being weird about Amelia being a teen mother,” u/throwaway2948928 said. “She’d make tasteless jokes and I immediately took her aside and told [her] that I wouldn’t tolerate any sort of teasing.”
She added that when she hired a tutor for Amelia and Raymond, Stephanie said they wouldn’t need one if they were “responsible.”
u/throwaway2948928 said she noticed that Stephanie was also taking some of Amelia’s clothes without asking.
“When she first moved in, I told her that in my home, we ask for permission before [taking] other people’s belongings, so I was pretty annoyed at it,” u/throwaway2948928 said.
Although Amelia asked for the shirt back, u/throwaway2948928 said Stephanie refused, saying that she did not need it because she did not fit into it. u/throwaway2948928 said the shirt was meant to serve as motivation to lose some weight she gained during her pregnancy.
“We got into a massive argument that resulted in me packing her bags and calling her mother to come and get her,” u/throwaway2948928 said.
Although she’s faced some backlash from her family, Reddit users jumped to her defense.
The top comment said u/throwaway2948928 should suggest that one of the other critical family members should take Stephanie in.
“Anyone that is giving you grief about this can go ahead and volunteer to give Stephanie free room and board,” another commenter wrote. “You tried it and all she did was attack your immediate family with name-calling and thievery.”
“I know you’re big on helping family but make sure they don’t mistake your kindness for weakness,” one Reddit user wrote. “If the tables were turned would they have opened their doors for you or your daughter?”
Newsweek reached out to u/throwaway2948928 for further comment. We could not verify the details of this case.
Many others have asked fellow Reddit users for their perspectives on their personal conflicts.
A woman was criticized for her annoyance with her boyfriend who boarded a plane minutes earlier than her.
One man was supported for throwing a birthday party for his “grounded” daughter, despite her mother not wanting her to have one.
Another man faced backlash for wanting to introduce his new girlfriend to his daughter whom he has met a handful of times.
If you have a similar family dilemma, let us know via [email protected]. We can ask experts for advice, and your story could be featured on Newsweek.